Homecoming Queen...or so I thought...

Tomorrow, I am going to file my resignation to the company effective July 14, 2005. Most probably, I'll be going back to the Philippines before July ends.

Reasons? Too complicated and personal for a public blog. I hate my company and my company hates me as well. These are not the main reasons though. I want to stay in Dubai, really, I've settled now, but well, there are things that are just beyond my capacity. And as Kuya Egai puts it, I can only take so much (or something to that effect).

I've been thinking about going back home for the past few months now. Something I had thought of and then took back seat in my mind. But some things have happened in a span of two weeks. And this morning, I found out something that made me decide to leave Dubai and go back home. Thought about it, cried about it, prayed about it, and talked it out with friends. And now, it's almost final. I'm going back home. I have to wait for another two weeks or so to finalize this, but MOST PROBABLY, and for the meantime, my mind is set in going back home.

How do I feel? Confused, anxious, worried, disheartened, scared, expectant. The next two weeks will be a real heartache for me, because two weeks from now, a result of something that happened will be confirmed. I don't want it, I mean not now. But as a close friend puts it, if it's positive, I should be happy about it, not everyone receives that kind of blessing.

On the other hand, I'm kind of excited to be back in the Philippines. Back in the company of my family, my friends, christian community. I'm excited to sing in the choir, in the band. I'm looking forward to overnight stays at the Baugbog's and the Pascua's, to hang out at videoke bars. And most of all, I can't wait to feel the rain drops falling on my head! After feeling all 48 deg Celsius in Dubai, I think I'm going to need a jacket in the Philippines.

But then again, I'll be back to zero. Another series of job hunting.

Oh, well, I'm waiting on the Lord. He knows best. He is in control.

Introducing... My Quasi-New Hair Style

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Note: quasi-new hairstyle na lang siya kasi i'm back to sporting my curls. new pics next time. hay... i'd better buy my own digicam para di na lang ako lagi umaasa sa padalang pics ng iba. :)

Conversations in a Melting Pot

06/06/05
11:12 pm

Ket: You know, I’m amused at you.
Zee: How come?
Ket: You always know when I’m lying. It’s as if you could see right through my soul.
Zee: Hmm… big words…
- moments of silence-
Zee: I feel so awful
Ket: What? Why?
Zee: I don’t know. I feel so stupid. Am I stupid?
Ket: Of course you’re not.
Zee: I’ve been doing stupid things.
Ket: Everybody does stupid things. What matters is how you correct those and how you get back up from them. Come on, I’ll give you a hug. It will make you feel better. (hugs Zee)
Zee: Are you having fun here in Dubai?
Ket: Acutally, I’m not. Everything is so fast paced. People come in and out of our lives and we are left alone. You can never tell who your real friends are.
Zee: Exactly.
Ket: You know, I actually eny you. Not envy envy, though. Just envy.
Zee: Why?
Ket: Coz you’ve got your long-time friends, you’ve got your brothers even though they’re in Abu Dhabi, they’re still quite near. And you’ve also got your girlfriend, someone to call your own while I don’t have anybody. I’m alone.
Zee: You’re not. You’ve got me.
Ket: For now. I know you’re gonna leave me too, just like everyone else.
Zee: Do you remember when I told you I want to get married?
Ket: Uh-huh.
Zee: I really do want to get married.
Ket: Then go, yalla*, marry your girlfriend.
Zee: It’s not that easy, you know. And besides I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with her.
Ket: Then why are you still together?
Zee: Can’t live with her, can’t live without her.
Ket: That’s weird.
Zee: Let’s get married.
Ket: What?
Zee: Let’s get married.
Ket: Yeah, right.
Zee: Really, I’m serious. Marry me.
Ket: (raises left eyebrow)
Zee: If I don’t have a girlfriend, will you marry me?
Ket: —silence—
Zee: Will you?
Ket: Maybe. Yes. But not now, I still have plans for myself.
Zee: Fair enough.
—moments of silence—
Zee: Do you love me?
Ket: No.
Zee: You’re lying. I know that you do.
Ket: Well, maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But the thing is, I can’t love you.
—moments of silence—
Zee: I love you.
Ket: That’s one of the biggest lies I’ve ever heard.
Zee: I’m not lying.
Ket: (looks up at Zee’s eyes)
Zee: I’m joking.
Ket: (sighs) I think I’ll go home now.

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*yalla - Arabic term meaning come on/go on

Ex-hopeful June Bride Wannabe

Scenario 1: (While eating mandi at an Arabic restaurant)
Gorgeous Hunk: Will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary Girl: Excuse me?
Gorgeous Hunk: Will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary Girl: What are you talking about? (with a little laugh to cover the fact that she was anxious and her heart is starting to pound her soul)
Gorgeous Hunk: Are you deaf? I'm asking you, will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Why would you want to marry me?
Gorgeous Hunk: Just answer yes or no, will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary girl: What for?
Gorgeous Hunk: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Now, just say yes or no. will you marry me or not?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Are you serious? Where's my diamond? (Laughing sheepishly)
Gorgeous Hunk: Oh, yah, I forgot. Here... (Taking a small red box from his pocket, opening it and displaying a simple yet very elegant diamond ring). Do you still want me to kneel down in front of you?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Oh my God... Are you... You mean...
Gorgeous Hunk: Now I'm asking you one last time, will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Yes, yes, of course... When?
Gorgeous Hunk: That's great. (Closing the small red box and putting it back in his pocket.) I hope my girlfriend answers yes right away when I propose to her tomorrow. I hope she's not as pathetic as you were when I asked you. Were my lines cheesy enough?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Oh, yah. They will do. (Tears starting to well up in her eyes)
Gorgeous Hunk: Hey, are you ok?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Yes, I am. This food is just too... uhh... I mean... Excuse me, I need to go to the washroom...

Scenario 2: (Lying on the couch, bumming around, watching Finding Nemo)
Gorgeous Hunk: Will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary girl: What?
Gorgeous Hunk: Are you deaf? Will you marry me?
Not-so-ordinary girl: Oh, man, here we go again. Stop playing with me, alright?
Gorgeous Hunk: I'm not playing with you. Just answer me, will you marry me or not?
Not-so-ordinary girl: No.
Gorgeous Hunk: Good. Coz I won't marry you either.
Not-so-ordinary girl: (walks out cries, and goes home)