Fear Street

People say I'm pretty, and I guess I'm okay. People say I'm self-confident, and I know that's true.

My friends think I'm fearless. They're wrong about that. People without fear are just insane. I have plenty of fears in my life. Some days I feel afraid from the minute I wake up in the morning 'til my last nightmare at night.

But the thing about fear is you can't be afraid of it. I know this sounds confusing. I guess what I mean is, be afraid if you have to, right? Fear is like this vicious little worm that lives inside you and eats you alive. You have to fight it. You have to know it's there. You have to accept that you'll never get rid of it, but fight it just the same.

Brave isn't about not being afraid. It's about being scared to death and still not giving in.

That's all any of us do. We just try not to give in.

And in the middle of all the danger and betrayal and fear, we try to hold on to what's normal and good. Have to keep up with homework. Have to be ready for that pop quiz. Have to still listen to music and watch TV and maybe go to a movie. Have to breathe...

You know what I mean? When you live in an insane world, you have to hold on to the little things...

Forlorn....

I feel lost... again... Is this another phase? I'm not exactly sure.

I don't know who I am anymore. Could somebody please tell me?

I'm broken, more than you can imagine. A dose or two of rejection is fine. But more than that is too much, and I had to bear them all... alone...

How would you feel if your dream was taken away from you? How would you react if the one you've always believed in fails to believe in you? I don't know either...

I'm running away, feeling the breeze in my hair. Yet the pain still catches up with me everytime. I'm tired... and starving...

I'm holding on the my Savior, fervently asking. For some reason, the Lord's best answer for me is silence...