My Child of Words

13/05/05
I need help. Badly. I'm being attacked by my demons. I'm too frail to fight back. Save me, save me please...

But nobody came to save me. I have nobody.

21/05/05
This is the worst mistake of my life. No more erasures, no more turning back. My life is being turned upside down with your arrival. You're killing me, my dreams, my goals, and whatever else is left of my broken soul. I'm breaking down. How will I be loved now that you're here? All will be lost, and "he"... how will "he" find me now if you're there covering me and taking me beneath your shadows?

22/05/05
I can feel you circulating in my innermost being. Your life being tied to mine. My little body providing sustenance for your little soul. But you're here now, so what choice do I have? Should I let you go and ruin myself and dread every moment of it or should I hold on to you and ruin myself and my dreams and dread every moment of it anyway? I'm not ready for you, and I can't promise you anything. I'd only be hurting you, and I don't want to do that. I don't want to pass on to you the burdens I'm carrying. It's a nightmare coming to life, and I never thought I'd be in this. I'm sorry but I would have to let you go...

24/05/05
Warm blood escaping my being. You're leaving me behind. I should be happy, right? I should celebrate. No more blockade along my path.

But then again, somehow, I can't smile. Somehow, I feel like I'm losing a very big part of myself. I think, I think I want you too. Too bad, I already lost you and I can't make you come back anymore.

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have let you go.