love stuff

Friends, this is a repost from Luisa, a Polsci friend. I'm just amazed how she was able to capture the exact essence of my emotions. Guess I'm not alone after all. Actually, tears stung my eyes as I was reading this. It's so hard to move on. But well, I have the Lord with me. My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Ps 62:1-2)

"Giving up someone or something that you love is one of the most difficult tasks - talk about self sacrifice, getting rid of a bad habit, leaving your comfort zone, a vice, or moving on. Admittedly, it's very intricate to disengage yourself from something that you've already been used to. But sometimes, Life itself is just so perverse that it leaves you no room to back off & say no way that youre gonna deal with the changes. I've always believed that the only thing that you should never give up is the one you love. It may sound so cliche, so romantic and unreal but at some point, we know that it is true. You see, no matter how ruthless, unfeeling, pitiless a person can be, deep down inside is a heart that still beats. Your lover might be emotionally beating you up but sooner or later he'll realize it is wrong. Well, too bad for him if he'll realize that only when you've already learned to move on alone. What I'm trying to say is that, you just don't give up. Don't think about what youre gonna get, where youll gonna be, or how you're gonna pick up the pieces. Just give it all. No inhibitions. Give it your best shot. Be yourself & stop thinking about what other people might think of you. Just love & love in the truest sense of the word. Then you'll see that in the end, the relationship may still not work, but you'll come out triumphant. Why? Because you were brave enough to admit that once in your life you've fallen, that you weren't scared of rejection, that you were fearless enough to put your own interests at stake, that for once you let your defenses down and admit that you are hurting, that you took your chance on love and that you've made it known to the other how greatly he is loved. But what if love has left the heart of the beloved, will you still not give up on love? My answer is never. Always remember that it was the beloved who left you, not love. It was the beloved who gave up on you, not love. It was the beloved who didn't trust you, not love. As I've always deemed to be enormously true: love and get hurt, get hurt and learn, learn and love again. Just two days ago (4 and a half months for me), my Beloved left me. Why? Because he never trusted me. He said he loved me but he never trusted me enough, which leaves me thinking, isn't that when you love, you also trust? Hhhmm... He thinks I'm fooling around with another guy. The truth is, theres no other guy besides him. Never. I never cheated on him, not even once. But its too late now to let him know that. He has already lost sight of the hope of us being together again. He simply gave up. I actually saw it coming with all the fights that we've had, most of which were caused by uncalled-for & senseless jealousy & doubt. I honestly thought we'd surpass that stage but I was so wrong and now I'm totally convinced that he never really loved me in the first place (not applicable for me though) and that maybe, he was never mine to begin with. He was just a dream that I once knew and sadly, now I'm back to reality. For now I can only tell myself that I've deeply loved, got badly hurt, learned my lessons the hard way, and that sooner or later, I'll be loving again. Painful as it is, I still won't give up on love nor on him. I'd still love and care for him but only from afar. He wont hear me utter `I love you' anymore but I would constantly ask the wind to whisper it in his ears for me. It's really sad that someone whom you thought really cared about you just gave up on you that easily. But then again, he's the Beloved and I am just a lover, someone he can always find in another girl and I've come to accept that he is the one thing that I can never have. I prefer, then, not to impose on him nor force him to get back in the relationship. I will just have to let him go and let him find in freedom his own happiness. That's what I believe Love is - willingly able to let go without ever having to give up."